Vivi's birth, prologue II

in a nutshell, it got worse before it got better. 

so anyway, you get the idea. life was sortof a pile of crap for a while. things were going so badly, it was almost comical. but we finally started getting a teeny bit moved in and all that nonsense, and then i had my obgyn appointment friday. to back up a bit, early that week (maybe monday? previous friday? i don't remember) dr. j told me that my pesky blood pressure was sneaking up again, just as it did with lucy (remember, bed rest.). she wasn't super concerned just yet, but we would be keeping a close eye on it. she said that if my blood pressure stayed the same or improved, i got to stay pregnant. if not, baby time. i think given the week we had been through, we all knew my BP was going to be bad. sure enough, it had sky rocketed.

baby time, said dr. j. i begged for an extension. i just needed more time! i wasn't ready, i barely had a bed to sleep on. and hadn't my bp been much higher before with lucy? please? dr. j said that since i had made such a dramatic jump since my last appointment, she was very concerned and that i needed to be induced the next morning, 6:30 am. i was resistant, danny, ever the rule follower, felt like we just needed to get our baby OUT. totally sided with the doctor. traitor. so i accepted my fate and got excited! my mom arranged her flight. i packed my little hospital bag. max went to his BFF's house for a sleepover. i finally felt some calm. 

Friday night at about 10, Danny picked my mom up at the airport. i was so happy to see her! and then i looked at danny. and then he went to the bathroom and PUKED. and continued to do so ALL NIGHT.

NO. 

NO. 

NO.

the stomach flu and a new baby do not mix!! . things were finally falling into place and then they were falling apart. at this point i also realized that i would be next. after all, lucy had puked all over me multiple times. at this point, i started to feel numb. and empty. and hopeless.

i didn't know what to do. i called the hospital first thing in the morning and they said that i should NOT come in for my induction. too many germs. then we got a call from our friends whose house max had slept at. Max had the flu too. Amazing. I was definitely next. then i got a call from my OBGYN and she wanted me to have the baby anyway. the hospital was worried about our germs, but she was worried about my health. i was worried that i would come down with the stomach flu in the middle of labor. at one point, she suggested that i needed to have the baby that day, and maybe danny wouldn't be able to come. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKING KIDDING ME. yes. i will have a natural, drug free birth, while throwing up, without my husband. someone give me a valium. ultimately, everyone agreed that if danny or i did not have any more puking episodes before 1:00, we would come in for the induction.

so there we were, cold, moving, puking, and exhausted. and you know how you get all pumped  mentally ready for something? and then it's called off? and then it's suddenly on again? it's not a good place to be. especially preparing for hypno birth, which is all about being stress-free,  calm, and positive during natural delivery.  

oh and p.s., our main water line that provided drainage from the washing machine and 2 of the bathrooms backed up, and then clogged. one working toilet and no laundry. BONUS!

We left diarrhea Lu with her Grandma and Nana, picked pukey Max up from his friend's house and went straight over to our old bishop's house. we needed help. the situation was officially more than we could handle. Danny and I were physically and mentally SO exhausted, and Max was so sick. All three of us received priesthood blessings. It was so comforting and reassuring to hear those words of love from the Lord and be reminded that we were not alone. I don't remember a ton of the specifics of our blessings, but I remember that Danny was blessed to be healthy and able to lead our family, that Max was blessed with health and encouraged to pray for himself to get better and exercise his faith to be healed (very special), and that I was blessed with the health and strength to give birth to our baby. that i would not get sick, and that I would feel stronger than I had my entire pregnancy. Our baby was blessed to be healthy and I was assured that everything would go perfectly during delivery. The words in my blessing were exactly what I needed to go forward with our decision to have the baby that day. I honestly don't know what would have happened without those blessings. It was such a powerful experience. I can't completely describe it. 

I would like to say, that every SINGLE person that came in contact with my children within that 48 hours got the stomach flu at some point that week. My mom, Danny's mom, my brother and sister, my dad a week later, our babysitter Kaitlyn, and who knows who else. It was one BAD bug. 

I never got sick. Vivi never got sick. Not to be dramatic folks, but honestly, it was my personal miracle. 

Anyway, we went home, dropped off Max,  gathered ourselves together as best we could, and called the hospital. We were ready for induction.


POST SCRIPT.  I promise, next post is the good one! The one where we get to have a baby, and Heather takes beautiful photos of the whole thing. It's a really, really good post.


POST POST SCRIPT. Well not the WHOLE thing. If you know what I mean.


do you feel like you need a photo to cheer you up after all that? holy cow. i do.

there. much better!

bed time routine.

the other night i randomly decided to document max's bed time routine. he has been wanting to sleep with no shirt lately (so manly) but still insists on lots of books and snuggles before bed (so sweet!). he always says "mooooooom? won't you way with me?" [lay with me]. i love it. although let's be honest, he usually only asks me AFTER he has already asked dad. ;)

also, i do brush his teeth. but he would NOT accept photo ops during teeth brushing OR books. "Just READ!"

vivian's birth. prologue.

I honestly can't believe I'm just now posting about sweet Vivian's birth. I don't know why I've been procrastinating... it really was such a perfect, beautiful birth, but maybe because all of the events surrounding her arrival were so difficult, It has seemed like a big undertaking to document. As much as I would love to forget the entire month leading up to her birth, I feel like it's necessary to document it for myself. This is obviously more for myself than anyone else, so sorry for the lengthiness. 

A number of crazy things happened 3 weeks before Vivi's birth. Hold on. It was a roller coaster. 

First, we sold and moved out of our house in Farmington (a huge task in and of itself). The house sold much faster than anticipated, which was great, except for our new house was being COMPLETELY renovated and could not be ready in time for our move. I'm talking, NO BATHROOMS, NO KITCHEN. no running water inside at all. So we had to bust a move in a big way to get our house ready! We had a ton of decisions to make, renovations to complete, and oh yea. Our contractor ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks. I also had about 8 weddings to edit. AND NOWHERE TO LIVE. 

Yes. 3 weeks before Viv's birth, and we were homeless. 

Let's just say, I pretty much had a COMPLETE emotional breakdown every day leading up to her birth. We decided that the best thing to do under the crazy circumstances was for Max and Lucy to take an extended vacation at Nana and Bapa's in Seattle. They stayed there for 2.5 weeks while Danny and I spent every waking second editing and finishing up the house. Thankfully, we were able to spend a week at Suzie's house and week at the Comrie's house (thank you, thank you, thank you!). We even spent Thanksgiving apart- which was HEARTBREAKING to say the least. 

The first week of December, Max and Lucy came back to Utah (yay!). I finished my editing and mailed out the last of my cd's, but we still had a couple of days left before we could move into our new house. This was extremely stressful, since I knew that there was a good chance Viv could come any minute- I was only 37 weeks, but Max was born at 34 weeks and Lucy was born at 38 weeks. Not a great track record. 

On the second day in the hotel, I took the kids to Target to get a couple of things for my hospital bag. We were staying in a hotel room for crying out loud- we HAD to get out! While I was there, Lucy threw a fit, I was trying to keep track of Max, and I realized I physically could not take care of my two kids and myself. Especially without a home. I called Danny from the parking lot sobbing. I was so happy to be with my kids, but my body was giving out and I felt like I had nowhere to turn. I couldn't be out and about, but sitting in a gloomy hotel room hardly seemed like a better alternative. And I felt DESPERATE to get my house in livable condition, not to mention ready for a new baby. I was just SO DONE. Danny hit a wall at that point too and called his mom. Sandy seriously SAVED us that week. She came down that evening and saved the day. 

We decided Wednesday and Thursday were our move in days. Hooray! I was seeing light at the end of the tunnel, but I still had to clean my ENTIRE. HOUSE. from being a construction zone. We literally had piles of sawdust and tools to get out of the place! It was so overwhelming and took HOURS. I am truly thankful to our friends who helped us clean up and move in that week. Honestly, it was an answer  to prayer, having these wonderful people take time away from their families to come help us. We literally could not have done it without them. 

We got all of our big furniture moved in Tuesday night but decided to sleep at the hotel a couple more nights. On Wednesday morning, Danny, Sandy, the kids and I head over to the house to start unpacking boxes and at least get our bedrooms set up. On the way there, we noticed it was windy. VERY windy. We drove slowly with the other cars along the freeway... and then as we drove South, it got WORSE. We saw MULTIPLE SEMI'S blow over! Cars were all over the road and there were signs saying no more trucks were aloud to drive. Semi trucks were seriously tipped over all over the place. At that point, we were half way there. We had no choice but to keep going. Upon arriving to our new house, there were branches and trees everywhere and we lost a large portion of the shingles on our roof. Awesome. We got inside the house, and there was no power. Double awesome. And best of all, WE HAD NO HEAT. Triple awesome. 

We decided to just get as much unpacking done as possible. But it was freezing and had no light, electricity, no way to cook, and no way to wash anything. And it was that way throughout the entire county. But we got a few things done! Unfortunately, that day Danny HAD to go to work. By the time it started to get dark, we were all starving, cold and cranky. We were waiting for Danny to get home, waiting for dinner, trying to decide what to do. I felt like my body was going to break in half and was contracting a lot. We had also just received news that it could be DAYS before we regained power. DAYS??! Impossible. At the same time, Max and Lucy were both crying and pawing at me. I snapped. Totally burst into tears and felt like my head would explode. I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs.  Who knows. Maybe I did? I remember yelling. "Forget it. We. Are. Out of here." We hauled the kids into the car and decided to go to Danny's grandma's house who had power. 

In the midst of all this, there was a lot of praying. Crying, praying, crying, praying. Danny pulled in and I was beside myself. Pretty much hysterical. He told his mom to take the kids to Grandma's without us and he sat next to me on our couch covered in moving blankets in the middle of our dusty, unpacked house while I just sobbed. For the record, I really, really, love my husband. He was my rock. He got to deal with all of the same crap I did, but he didn't get to be sad or frustrated or emotional. He totally held it together for our family. I appreciate that SO. MUCH. 

And then, it happened. Our "tender mercy." THE POWER CAME ON. AHH! We decided to stay that night and unpack our guts out. That night, my friend Caroline came over and we unpacked the entire kitchen. It was such a relief! We were making progress. This was the boost we needed. 

We decided to wrap it up around midnight and go back for our last night in the hotel room. We walked in the door to find Sandy holding little Lucy. She had just PUKED. EVERYWHERE. And she continued to do so all night long. I don't know if anyone else has had a 16 month old with the stomach flu, but it is heartbreaking and messy. You have no idea when it's coming, and neither do they. So there we were, in a hotel room, 9 months pregnant in the middle of the night with a puking baby who also had a mean case of diarrhea. I can't even count how many times she threw up, how many times we had to change pukey and poopy sheets, or how many times it was all over ME. And of course, she only wanted me, and all I wanted was to make her feel better. Danny kept trying to take her to try and avoid me getting what she had, but I didn't care at that point.  Finally, the following morning, the puking let up a little and we showered, packed up, and GOT THE HELL OUT. To the maids who had to clean up that place after we checked out that day, seriously, I am SO. SO. SORRY.

....to be continued...

Lulu in the garden...

i don't know about you guys, but i am LOVING the weather! we can't get enough of being outside. and i can't get enough of my lu in these flowers.