25.8.10

going home...

i'm not going to lie, i really enjoyed my stay in the hospital- isn't there something comforting about having a nurse around all the time to tell you that everthing's normal? plus they take out your garbage and do your dishes there. that's nice too.

lucy and i were excited to head home though, and she even got dressed up for the occasion!

i made this little shirt by sewing a jersey knit ruffle across the front of a basic kimono top. i must say, i think it turned out pretty cute! and it worked out perfectly because hardly anything fits my little 6 pounder!


and of course she needed a little pink aviator hat- just like big brother max did!


i love this photo of my sweet baby and husband. hopefully she will have his pretty blue eyes!

on the way home guess what we ate? jamba juice. and TACO TRUCK. hehe. we're addicted.
we had a nice afternoon and evening at home alone with lucy while max stayed with his grandma in salt lake. linds and brian came to visit that evening, and wouldn't you know she is baking up a little womb nugget of her own! we can't wait!! lucy slept for about 6 straight hours that evening. i told you she was a nice, nice baby!

the following morning we got to hang out with danny's family that was in town for a wedding and later that evening my mom came back in from seattle! we are SO spoiled by our parents and siblings. lucky us!

in the hospital

lucy, one day old!
the second day in the hospital was so nice and relaxing. lucy slept a LONG time the first night so i felt great and pretty well rested. my mom spent the morning with me before she had to fly back to seattle for my brother's welcome home open house (she had a BUSY week i tell ya!). it was so nice to just spend some quiet time alone with my girl. she was just so sweet and pretty and had the sweetest spirit about her. she is just this soft, pink, happy GIRL!


me and my girl


lucy and nana, wrapped in the beautiful blanket she made her! i had to try out the little flower i made her, one day old and already playing dress up. =)

lucy, two days old
i had to get the token bassinet pictures before we came home. =) notice she still didn't have a name! yes, we were one of those people who took our baby home nameless. at that point, we were calling her lucy but we didn't have a middle name. we also weren't sure if it was going to be lucy or lucille.

isn't she just the sweetest thing you ever saw? i honestly can't get over her in this picture!




lucy and danny, he absolutely adored her already and has such a great touch with newborns.
i LOVE it.


24.8.10

lucy, meet max. max, lucy.

oh my goodness. i don't think i have ever witnessed a sweeter moment than my two babies meeting for the first time! before he even got to the hospital, when we called to him to let him know lucy was born he squealed on the phone " MY BABY THITH-TER IS HERE???! I'M COMING! I'M COMING!!"

max came bursting into the room with a balloon tied to a butterfinger bar (he picked it for me himself!) just DYING to see her! he ran right up to me, jumped in my bed and was so excited to kiss her and hold her. we quickly handed both kids off to danny because i'm pretty sure he was going to pull out my IV, step on my tummy and who knows what else. =) danny helped him hold her and he was so excited to check out all of her little fingers and toes and poke her eyes. you know, loving things like that. =) i have it all on video, if i can figure out how to do it, i will post it on here. honestly it was the CUTEST thing ever and he was just so happy. after he got his hands on her, he didn't want anyone else to touch her, danny's sister tiff wanted to hold her and he was not about to give her up! he kept insisting that she was his baby and it was his turn to hold her... still. =) he didn't want to leave, but after he ate half of my butterfinger with me, he found the birth ball (like a big exercise ball). bad news. haha!





Lucy's Birth

I can't believe my sweet baby girl is already three weeks old- we have been loving every second of having a newborn! I just haven't been able to sit down and really write about her birth but I want to do it before I forget all of the little details. =) Sorry this is so long, it's honestly for my own records more than anything. Heads up, nothing graphic, but if you don't like talk of umbillical cords or cervixes,this post is not for you. =)

THE PROLOGUE: last days of pregnancy and preparing for natural birth!

So here i am about a week before miss L made her debut. Let's be clear. I am a HOUSE. I'm about 37 weeks, thank heaven I didn't go full term!





as many of you know, i was on bed rest for about three weeks before D day. i had PREGNANCY INDUCED HYPERTENSION (PIH) and my blood pressure was hovering right around 155/95. yikes. my doc said the goal was to make it to at least 36 weeks and hopefully 38, but she would not let me go a day over 38 weeks because of my PIH. i went in twice a week to get my BP and urine protein checked and monitor lucy. induction was scheduled for thursday the 29th of july (the exact day i hit 38 weeks) and we were doing everything possible to make it that far! especially because my brother was coming home from his mission on the 27th, and my mom just can't be in two places at once.

Also during the month of July I was taking hypnobirthing classes. After witnessing my amazing friend Celeste use hypnobirth while delivering Abram, I decided I just HAD to try it. I was hesitant to announce it to the world and make a big deal of it, because as much as I wanted to have a successful, natural drug free birth, I was not ABOUT to be one of those moms who gets preachy about the evils of epidurals and then begs for one when the going gets rough. Seriously, how embarrassing. I was soooo loving the classes, but then with everything that came to pass with my PIH, I was devastated to think that being induced early and being slammed with pitocin was going to throw my chances.

Luckily, at 37 weeks I was dialated to a 3 and I had a GREAT talk with my hypnobirth instructor MARIE CHASE [also LOVE. interested in hypnobirth? you MUST take her class.]. I talked over some of my doubts and my approach to hypnobirth. I was worried that I wasn't doing everything "right" and that I wasn't able to really get into a deeply relaxed state. However, hypnobirth's positive attitude toward natural birth and the way they explain how to let your body work with contractions etc. was SO helpful and I had been practicing with the contractions I had been having so far. Marie was so reassuring and explained that the best thing is to focus on what works for you. My approach was more clinical- visualizing everything happening smoothly, my body doing all the things it is supposed to etc. I thought of it like sports psychology for birth rather than thinking of contractions like ocean waves and stuff like that. To each their own.

On the 27th i came in for my weekly appointment with my OB. i was sitting in the exam room after getting my bp checked and dutifully peeing in a cup. =) in walks my doctor [INSERT: i LOVE my doctor. Julia Johanssen at Circle of Life in Ogden. THE. BEST. period.].

She looks at me and says simply, "That's it, you're done." I was shocked. "WHAT??!"

"YOU'RE. DONE. Your blood pressure? SUCKS. Your protein level? SUCKS. Let's have a baby."

[I love that she just gave it to me straight up. And I love any medical professional who will freely say "SUCKS." It's comforting when they speak like real people.]

I panic. She had been out of town the week before so I hurriedly remind her that I was holding out until Thursday, just two more days, so that my mom (who had already purchased a flight!!) could be there for Text Colormy brother AND my baby's birth. Being the rock star doctor that she is, she agrees to send me to the hospital for a few more tests and as long as "they don't come back too crazy" she will see me at 5:30 am Thursday. Hallelujah, everything went smoothly at the hospital and after being admitted into labor and delivery for a few hours, I get to go home.


D-DAY!!!



Danny and I woke up bright and early on Thursday the 29th and loaded up the truck. My stuff, baby stuff, camera, video camera, pillows, ipod, hypnobirth book and birthplan... HOLY CRAP there was a lot of stuff.

We rolled up to the hospital at about 5:45, got checked in, settled into our room, met nurse Kim (LOVE) and talked over the birth plan details with Doctor J. I knew what I wanted, but because I was being induced and because of my blood pressure and a positive Strep B test, a few things would have to be different. For example, I would have loved to avoid an IV or at least put it off as long as possible. But because I needed antibiotics for the Strep B, I got an IV strait up. But Dr. J and I agreed on all the major stuff, so that was good. Kim, Dr. J and I were shooting the breeze and taling about my hypno class and I explained my approach to the whole thing. "I love hypnobirth but I'm approaching it more like sports psychology for birth. The whole picturing my vagina as a flower thing isn't working out that well for me." We all had a good laugh about that one. =) Everyone at the hospital seemed to appreciate that I was going for natural birth without being overly extreme or a complete hippy.

One thing I really appreciated was Dr. J's willingness to make it as easy as possible for me to have a natual delivery despite being induced. I was worried about being slammed with pitocin right off the bat, so she decided since I was already dilated to a 3, the best approach would be to break my water immediately and see if I could contract and progress on my own.

So at 7:30 am, Dr. J broke my water. I asked how it would feel. She said, WET. She was right.

Then, the walking began. I reeeeeally wanted to be able to establish a consistent contraction pattern and avoid pit. if possible, so Danny and I walked. and walked. and walked. Which is a little awkward when your water has already broken. There is a lot of dripping involved, and it's a good thing I wore crocs. I had some decent contractions, and there were spurts where I would have them every 5 or 10 minutes, but then they would stop for 20 minutes and start again. Bummer.

Around 11:30 or so, my mom arrived at the hospital from Seattle and Danny's mom got there too. I was SO glad they were both able to be there!!

At 12:30 the decision was made to start pitocin since my contractions weren't consistent. The nurse didn't think it was likely that I had progressed very much, if at all because my contractions weren't too serious. One of the things they teach you in hypnobirth class is that there are two sets of uterine muscles. The top set push the baby down and the lower set has to separate for the baby to drop. If you're stressed and tense, those muscles contract harder and and make your contractions more painful but less effective- tightening them doesn't allow the baby to move down. However, if you can focus on relaxing those muscles, the contractions move the baby down putting more pressure on your cervix. I felt like the easiest way for me to do that was standing up/ walking. So to our surprise, i was dilated to a 5. YAY!!

After about an hour of pitocin, I was still feeling pretty comfortable and was dilated to a 6. It was a bummer not being able to walk laps anymore, but what do you do. Danny and I decided to watch a little prison break. My doctor came by to check on me and come to find out instead of facing my tail bone, Lucy was facing my hip. Even though I was at a 6, I wasn't really effaced and miss L needed to turn for things to really get going. I needed to stay laying down on my left side to try and help her turn. That part wasn't so fun- I thought laying on my side made the contractions more uncomfortable. Standing was the most comfortable, sitting was probably the next best thing.

After another hour (about 2:30 pm) things were getting a bit more intense, but really not too bad. Nurse Kim informed us that I was still a 6, but fully effaced. She said things could start to progress more quickly now. She was RIGHT.

Not long after she walked out, I (think) I felt the baby turn. My contractions DEFINITELY felt more intense and were getting closer and closer together. Danny was being so great, tickling my back (aka light touch massage in hypnobirth lingo) to help me relax and release endorphins. During each contraction, he did this great little trick where he pushed on my hip and lower back, which helped relieve the pressure in my back and hips a TON. I seriously couldn't have gotten through the end without him!!

Even though it had only been about 20 minutes, I paged my nurse and asked her to check me again. Something just felt different. The contractions and pressure were much more intense and I could just tell that things had changed. Sure enough, I was at an 8! I was so happy to hear that the intensity was worthwhile- I was a little nervous that the pitocin was just making everything painful without any results. She started to do some basic prep for the baby to come, wheeling in some of the equipment etc. and said she would check in again.

My contractions were getting a bit stronger but definitely closer together. I was focusing all of my energy on breathing and keeping my body relaxed. It was becoming more difficult as my contractions were right on top of each other and I wasn't getting a break.

All of the sudden, I had a contraction and my whole body just did a crunch. It was so weird- I had this strong urge to push, and I WAS pushing a little- but not intentionally. It happened again on the next contraction, so even though she had checked me about 15 minutes earlier, I paged Kim again.

I remember saying on the pager "I'm sorry, I know you were just in here, but will you check me again? I'm having a really intense urge to push."

Kim told me she was coming right in, but NOT to push because if you aren't fully dilated, you can tear your cervix. She hurried in and saw my contraction- I was involuntarily pushing with each one. She hurried and checked me and I was at a 10. AHHHH! 6 to 10 in like 45 minutes. Crazy!

Then the rush started! My mom said you could just see everyone shift into GO mode. Kim hurriedly paged my doctor, telling the front desk to get Dr. J in there FAST! All the rest of the equipment came in, along with the baby's nurse. Dr. J got there too and she joked about my vagina being a flower. Awesome. Haha!

Also, Chelsea came just before the doctor did- I had called her when I was at a 6 and said she should probably start heading toward the hospital- little did we know things would happen SO fast! I am SO SO SO thankful that Chels was there to photograph everything, she did such a great job and it was so nice not to worry about pictures- we just got to enjoy it all! I am officially in love with birth photography, both as a photographer AND a mother. So anyway, the rest of the story has visuals. I tried to select ones that wouldn't be too graphic, hopefully you agree! THank you A MILLION Chelsea, we will ALWAYS cherish these!!!

Images by Chelsea Christiensen, edited by me. =)

Breathing through a contraction while everything was being set up! I was so excited to get the show on the road (and to see Chelsea and Doctor Johanssen!).


Danny tickling my back, it was so helpful.



The amazing Dr. Johanssen, she honestly was the best! She was so laid back and relaxed, which was awesome. She left the lights off until after the baby was born so I could say relaxed and was so encouraging and supportive of my goals. Having a great doctor is imperative if you're going a natural birth, and she was perfect.


After everything was in place I rolled over onto my back. Oh my goodness, it was HEAVEN! Seriously I was so much more comfortable on my back it was amazing. They also turned off my pitocin drip, which was also helpful. It didn't slow anything down, but it did help my contractions not feel quite so intense.






Getting ready to push. Yaaay! I thought I would be nervous to push but I was just so ready to meet my baby. The I pushed through the first contraction and there was a lot of pressure, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It didn't feel at all like the horrible stinging burning sensation everyone usually talks about. Dr. J (and everyone else) was encouraging me and so fantastic. Dr. J let me know what she was doing the whole time, which was great. She does NOT perform episiotomies (she gets extra points for that one!), so she was helping to stretch me out the whole time too. Right before the contracted ended, she told me to keep pushing and that I could get the head out before the contraction was over. Baby was crowning and she said, "That's it, the 'ring of fire'" and then my contraction ended. Bummer.

So there I was in the so called "Ring of Fire" and I waited for the next contraction. I remember thinking, "Really, that's the ring of fire?" Then I focused on relaxing and letting gravity do it's job while I waited for the next contraction. I felt totally calm and it was nice to have a little break before I needed to push again. Later Dr. J told me she was amazed that I was able to relax in that moment, because a lot of times that's the part where people sorta freak out. Like for real, someone kicked her once. =) I really was so surprised that pushing wasn't as bad as I expected it to be without drugs.







Then the next contraction started and there was NO way I wasn't going to get her out on the second one! I gave it my all. I felt her head, then her shoulders right after and that was it. She was out, and the pain was completely gone! I was immediately reaching for my baby girl and I was SO happy she was here.

my absolute FAVORITE image. i love the movement and all of our hands, Dr. Johanssen's, Lucy's and mine.


She was placed right on my chest like we had asked and we waited until the umbilical cord stopped pulsing before we cut it (waiting a minute to cut the cord allows the baby to get extra oxygen and bloodflow as well as a bunch of great hormones that are released right at birth). I couldn't believe how sweet she was, how great I felt, and how happy and I relieved I was that it was over.

After the cord was cut and we snuggled for a minute, they took the baby to be weighed and cleaned up. I really appreciated that everyone was so respectful of my birthplan- immediate bonding time and delayed cord cutting, and then she didn't get any shots or vaccines (just the vitamin K shot) or the antibiotic eye cream (did you know they give the baby the eye stuff in case the mother has STD's? Nice).

Danny took good care of her while she got checked out and I got stitched up. I was bummed to find out that I tore a bit, but glad (and shocked) that I didn't feel it! Lucy was crying like crazy while the doctors weighed and measured her. 6 pounds, 13 ounces, 18 inches. such a little lady!


Lucy got to meet her Grandma and Nana while I got stitched up. I was SO happy that they were both their to witness baby Lucy enter the world! It was so special for Danny and I to have our moms present.















Miss Lucy calmed down once she was wrapped up and brought back to me. She nursed like a champ right afterward too! It was so amazing to be able to have my baby all to myself, especially after everything we went through with Max as a preemie in the NICU. Overall I was just SO happy with how everything went. I am SO glad I had a natural delivery and used hypnobirthing. I loved my doctor, I loved my nurses, and Ogden Regional was great. My husband was AMAZING. So supportive and sweet. Having our moms there was the icing on the cake. And at the end, we got LUCY. We love her SO much and are so happy to be her Mommy and Daddy. I wouldn't have changed anything about her birth [ok, except for my IV. It hurt and bugged me the WHOLE time. In fact, out of all the things that are difficult and painful about birth, my IV is the thing that I hated the worst.].
I can't wait to do it all again, I just LOVE the whole birth process and I LOVE new babies. I have had such a great delivery and recovery, I swear if my pregnancies weren't so rough I would have 20 babies. =)

Now that I have this big post done, I will be able to catch up on everything else! Next will be Lucy meeting Max, followed by 8 MILLION pictures of LUCY!!!

P.S. if anyone has questions about hypnobirth or birth photography, leave a comment or e-mail me! =)

5.8.10

finally, a name.


man we had the hardest time choosing! we were back and forth on a few different options for a middle name and we couldn't decide between lucy or lucille. then on tuesday, there was a little scare that she had a heart problem, meaning we needed to take her to the cardiologist at primary's the next day. meaning she needed a NAME for our insurance!! all the sudden it hit us, Lucille to be shortened to Lucy, and Mackenzie after my one and only beautiful sister. Danny was the one who threw it out there and we all immediately loved it! it was the first name combination that really "clicked" for me and that i felt fit her. and thank heavens, the docs found nothing wrong with her little heart. phew!!

miss lucy is a whole week old today and everything is going amazing! we love her so much and she is honestly the sweetest most beautiful baby. i feel like photos do her no justice! the consensus is that she looks like me, but she definitely has danny's chin and dimples! which of course i LOVE. also, there are pictures of max and lucy at the same age where they look like twins. it's crazy!! she is a nursing pro- never mind the fact that i have enough milk supply for triplets. no joke. though i think we may be slowly regulating that! she eats every three hours during the day and at night she has been eating around 11 or 12, sleeping until around 4 (sometimes i wake HER up!) and then eating and sleeping again until around 8:30. i like her a LOT for that. =) she weighed 6 lbs 7 ounces at her checkup, so that's good!

and max. max is OBSESSED with her! like, probably loves her a little TOO much. lots of hugs and kisses (aka smothering) and he wants to hold her all the time. he doesn't like visitors to hold her for long- he's a little possessive of HIS baby. =) he has actually pointed to her a few times and said "she's MINE?" or "dat's MY baby." so cute! i have never seen him more excited than when he met her for the first time, it absolutely melted me. he also love to smell her! one of the cutest things he has said went a little something like this.

me: "max, are you giving baby sister kisses?" [seeing that he had his face right on hers]
max: "no, i'm just doing like dis!" [wrinkles up his nose and makes sniffing noises]
me: are you smelling her?
max: "YEA! she smews DOOD! (good)" [turns and sniffs me] "YOU not smew dood."
me: "oh yea, what does mommy smell like?"
max: "you smew like LUNCH!"

awesome.

i have lots more to share, including her birth story, which was amazing. I took hypnobirth classes and had a NATURAL delivery that i loved. and there are even pictures to boot thanks to my friend CHELSEA who made it just in time to photograph it! as soon as i can pull myself away from this sweet little lady i will share. =)