Old School

This afternoon, Max and I drove on down to Provo to help Jordan move out of the BYU dorms (I even went inside. Scandalous!). Afterward we decided to cruise around Provo, hitting Maestro's for some delicious crepes and gelato, The Flower Basket Boutique (newest obsession), and the COAL UMBRELLA, where I saw these retro couches and fell in love. I had to take some pics of my little man in his cowboy digs, which were thankfully in the car! Enjoy these fun vintage vibe pics with some old school processing. For the record, I am officially withdrawing any foul thing I ever said about Provo. It has a few spots that are WELL worth the drive!

Jordy and Max. We are really going to miss him!

celeb sightings

On friday night, we went to dinner at Cucina Toscana in SLC. IT WAS AMAZING. Highly recommend it for a special night out! Our food was seriously unbelievable. Asparagus stuffed ravioli with four cheese sauce anyone? I think I am drooling right now. 

While I was there, I saw this girl walk by. 

{Ashley Tisdale, or to some of you, Sharpay}

I think they're in the middle of filming HS MUSICAL 4.  Apparently three was just NOT enough...? She was strutting her stuff past our table to the back of the restaurant with her nose job up in the air. So funny. For all you H.S.M. fans, sorry. I didn't get a pic or autograph. 

Side note, can we talk about brand flashing for a sec? This picture cracks me up.  I think it is so far beyond tacky. Why no just hold it in front of your face if you want to show it off that bad? If you can afford a $5,000 bag (or a $200 bag for that matter) do you really feel the need to advertise it to the world by plastering the logo all over the place? Why don't you buy one that's actually cute and then run around telling everyone, "want to know how much my bag costs?" I think it's about equal on the tacky scale, but at least you would have a cute purse. Or maybe you should leave the price tag on. Or tattoo Louis Vuitton on your wrist.  So here's a tip from me. Having a logo clad bag (shoes, shirt, whatever) doesn't make you cute.  It makes you rich or maybe just bad with money or an impulsive buyer. I would be so much more impressed if you spent $20 bucks on a fabulous Target bag.

Thus endeth the vent sesh. 

Sunny Spain

Remember this boy? {my brother Jordan, for those of you who really don't}

well, soon he's going to look like this- missionary tag, 

B.O.M., tie, sombrero.... 

(okay, maybe no sombrero)

Because JORDAN JEFFREY RANDS just received his MISSION CALL to

MADRID, SPAIN!!!

Now, we all know that Jordan it the golden child. He always gets his way and my parents think that every stupid thing he does is just hilarious (the rest of us aren't bitter or anything). But the crazy thing is, Jordan has been saying for the last year that if he could choose anywhere to serve, IT WOULD BE SPAIN because he wants to continue learning Spanish, but he really wanted to go to Europe. Best of both worlds. 

Spoiled by mom. 

And God?

Seriously though, we could not be any happier for his call. We all just hoped that no matter where he was called that he would be happy and excited. Jordan is absolutely over the moon. No one even believed him at first when he told us! We didn't all open it together. Jord  had to do it his way- hike up a mountain and open it by himself. We didn't even know he had the letter! He said he couldn't believe it himself. He even had "happy tears!" I really don't think I have ever heard him so excited in his life. It doesn't hurt that his best friend is going to Spain too, three weeks before him, and they will be in the MTC together. Jordan is outta here on September 3rd, so we have a while to go, but we are so glad we get to spend the summer with him.

In the mean time, Tyler will have a fantastic time continuing to tell the world, 

"JORDAN IS GOING ON A MISSION TO SUNNY SPAIN!"

He was ecstatic. 

the next day, it snowed.

After Max's afternoon nap, he's usually NOT in the best mood. I usually try to remedy this with a change of pace. We walk over to a neighbor's house, play at the playground, whatever. Today being no exception, we just needed to get OUT, despite the fact it was raining a little. 

He perked right up at the mention of going outside.

Unfortunately, by the time he was bundled up and we got Max and his car outside, it was starting to snow. But I thought, since we were out there, why not just see what happens.

This happened. The funny thing is, I think he was more mad that I was in his way trying to take a picture than he was about the snow. Regardless, we went in.

He didn't like that idea one bit. 

Maybe tomorrow will be better, little guy. 

Sunshiney Day

Today was JUST what I needed. 82 degrees. Good friends. Shopping. Fun. 

Laci, Chelsea and I (not to mention our slew of munchkins) went on down to the Gateway for little fun in the city. We spent like 50 hours at Forever 21, where our children all went psycho (seriously I think the sales associates were ready to murder us), there was no air conditioning, and we took many trips in and out and up and down the elevator. For the record, Forever 21 has no elevator or escalator, meaning that if you are a stroller clad mama like myself, you pick out clothes on the first level, start a room, go outside to the elevator, enter the upper level F21, pick out more clothes, send an associate down with your clothes or run downstairs while a friend watches your rugrat, and then go back out and down the elevator. Nightmare. Heaven forbid you grab the WRONG size. Oh and did I mention they have no bathroom? Poor Navi had to pee. Twice. Poor Laci had to take her to old navy. Twice. But in the end, it was so worth it. We loaded UP!

After melting off a good 20 pounds in the store (at least we will look fab in our new clothes) we hit the fountains! Sweet relief. Kids out, cooled off, we sat. 

At first, 

she watched. 

he watched. 

And then, 

she got brave

and soaked. 

And he

got brave, and a little wet. 

p.s. I look wretched and giant in the above photo. Don't judge me. 

Not EVERYONE was too sure about the water. 

But Lauren (I think? Why can I never tell them apart in pictures!? I swear I can in person.) had a blast running around the outside and clapping for really good bursts of water. It was hilarious!

After that we shopped some more and ate cookies. Because no outing is complete with out a little chocolate chip love. 

Thanks girls for the crazy fun day. Love ya. 

a little cute and a whole lotta funny

cute....

{click to enlarge}

I love you, silly.

nice to meet you.

Tonight Danny, Max and I went to Ogden to visit our dear friends Darren and Jody and their brand new baby Carson (or Karson). This little man is just the sweetest thing. He's so tiny (6.14, 20 inches) and I think he looks just like his big sister Hadley!  Carson was three weeks early and had a little NICU sleep over last night so he could hang out under the heat lamps and stay nice and toasty. Mom and baby are doing great though and will both be released tomorrow! Yay! It was cool going to the NICU, it brought back lots of memories! We even scrubbed in with the exact same little sponges that they had at Saddleback.  It made me want to shrink up my own big baby and rewind to that new baby time of my life with new baby smells and new baby clothes and new baby fingernails. I even missed our three long weeks of trips to the NICU. Sigh.

The lights were off in the NICU and no flash is allowed, so I couldn't get the best pics. DON'T WORRY. More to come next week! For the meantime, here is our little buddy, who was fast asleep with a little scowl on his face. We think he was having a bad dream. =) Congratulations on the newest addition Darren, Jody and Hadee!

{Picture of the Day}

this guy

wakes up cranky. 

hence the tear, dripping over his nose.

Too bad I didn't the camera in time to catch him laying like this, screaming at me. it was funny. You would have liked it.

Children's Museum with the Rands Boys/ Tylerisms

On Monday, Max and I went to the children's museum with Tyler (who was more excited than Max) and my Dad ( who was a very good sport). As soon as we got there Tyler went NUTS, running wild all over the place! I loved it. He was way too excited to check out one room at a time. So after about a half hour of sprinting here there and everywhere, he seemed to have an idea of the best rooms, and spent most of his time playing in the ball room and at the water center.

 Max was pretty chill, unfortunately he's a little too small for much of what the museum has to offer, but give him six months, it's going to be a whole new ball game. I'm thinkin' season passes. So fellow moms, let's unite in pass purchasing this fall. What a perfect winter outing!
Dad and Ty, thank you so much for coming out to stay with us last week. We had a blast! I love you guys. Thanks for the fun. 

....Scroll down for a GREAT Tyler stories....

{climbing}

{sliding}

{Max and "pops" as I like to call him}

{my brother Tyler. He's the best.}

There are of course, numerous moments of every day you spend with Tyler when you would like to just laugh forever at some of the things that come out of Tyler's mouth. Every time he speaks to Max, he calls him "Maxwell" or "little buddy" it melts me. Especially when he scoops him up and talks to him face to face and tells him that he is a handsome little prince. We miss this guy already!

I have narrowed it down to the TOP TWO Tyler moments of the trip. 

{THE LONG GOODBYE ... or so he thought.}

On sunday, we went down to Provo to be a part of Jordan's big day- he was ordained an elder!

We spent some time afterward just shooting the breeze in the lounge area of Stover Hall, which is so chic by the way (but it was the only place I was allowed).

We talked about Jordan's upcoming mission, where he will go, how he will open his call, what we're going to do with his stuff when he leaves. You know. The usual.  Then we talked about who would be the most upset when we said our final goodbyes to Jord. All votes go to mom, but Mackenzie and I came in second, and Dad said he would cry, but not fall apart (like the girls). We then Turned to Tyler.

"Ty, are you going to cry when you say goodbye to Jordan before his mission?"

"mmmm, No." (nonchalantly)

"why not?"

"Because I'll see him real soon" (in his typical singsongy voice)

We then explain that when Jord goes on his mission, that we won't see or talk to him for TWO YEARS. He accepts our explanation, seemingly unfazed. 

Later Jordan walks us out to the car. Everyone says their goodbyes, leaving Tyler and Jordan. 

Let me paint a picture for you. 

My two brothers. About the same height, Tyler in one of his usual Adidas get ups. Jordan in his usual button up and skinny jeans. They stand about a foot away from eachother, hands straight down at their sides. They each have this funny little smirky smiles on their faces. It's a Tyler face. 

"Goodbye Tyler"

"Goodbye Jordan"

 

...pause...

"See you in two years!" (upbeat)

I LITERALLY CANNOT REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I LAUGHED THIS HARD. I think I almost fell over. For real. We all about died trying to suck in some air as we laughed and explained that he didn't have to say goodbye to Jordan for his mission yet. HILLARIOUS, SWEET, SILLY BROTHER, I LOVE YOU. How boring life would be without you to entertain us!

Ok, sorry. I'm so tired. I will have to save story #2 for tomorrow. 

Conference Weekend

Round I:

Saturday

We had a lovely time taking care of Max, who apparently ate something that did not agree with him. He barfed his guts out at the beginning of the session. We cleaned him up, gave him a shower, and he seemed tired, but fine. We were all worried about him, but he ended up not being sick again after that afternoon! What the heck. We all (me, Max, Danny, my Dad, Tyler and Jordan) watched general conference in my living room. During the last talk, we looked over and saw THIS.

Jordan and Max 

upon further inspection... 

quick interjection- thanks nana for sending my blabla monkey with pops. 

love, Max

ROUND II

Sunday

On our way down to Provo to have Jordan ordained (congrats Elder! Jord is turning his mission papers on MONDAY!!!), we stopped by Lindsey's house to see a TON of Seattle friends who were in town! I am so glad we were able to catch up for a bit. Love all these guys!

the whole gang

friends from "our generation" I love this pic because Tyler, Lyns and Megan look perfect, while the rest of us are trying to get a handle on our crazy kids. ha! I really enjoyed meeting Summer and Dani (Ben and Matt's wives) for the first time. They were so fun- us gals couldn't have hoped for cooler girls for our buddies! We think they married up. 

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

here's proof.

and here

and here

and here. What can I say?! I love these girls, we bring out the CRAZY in each other. 

Did we sit and enjoy the words of the last session? No. We were busy chasing these two wild ones around. James is Max's new partner in crime! They were all over the place, but hilarious! Too bad Matt, Dani and James are moving to Texas. =( we had a blast with them!

Notice this Tyler refused to be in the group pictures. Notice the grin on his face when we asked him to pose for one with Katie and one with Landon (not pictured). That's love!

For any of you who do not know, this is my adorable little brother (ok he's only 3 years younger than me)  Tyler, who has Autism. Isn't he CUTE? He picks favorites obviously! We love him anyway. More to come on this funny guy! =)

Well, it looks like I will be re-watching the talks online. Between puke and busy babies, I can't say I got to soak in all the spirituality of the weekend. I loved the bits and pieces I heard ... =)

a serious conversation

~something sweet, to make up for the ickyness of previous posts~

Every morning Max wakes up EARLY. Between 6:00 and 7:00 usually, which is absolutely torture to me! So our morning routine is all about distraction- first we lay in bed and I nurse him (while I sleep) and if I'm lucky, he goes back to sleep too. When he doesn't, often I unplug the phone on our night stand, cuddle him up to me, and let him play while I rest, hoping he doesn't decide to slam the reciever to my head. Here is Max in my bed, playing with the phone. He loooves phones these days, I even caught him talking into a thermometer today.

Did I mention my dad is in town?

Sooo proud of himself, pulling the "funny face!"

work it baby, work it. 

Makeyawannavomit Grand Prize Germ Winners!

Second Runner up.

spenceandcass said...

Ava has been doing something really strange lately. If you didn't already know.... most 3 year olds pick their boogers and eat them...it's just a fact of life and I have finally learned to accept it. So lately when I have noticed her sniffing her fingers and then licking them, I really didn't think too much of it. Well one day last week I noticed her digging in her pants...scratching inside her bum....and then ....yep...you guessed it....she sniffed her fingers and licked them off! I said, "Ava! What are you doing?" She said, "Mooooom!, I'm just cleaning off my fingers!" So Jessica, get ready because this is definitely not the last nasty thing Max will ever do. I am sure of it!

Cassie, you win these!

High quality stuffed microbe toys for you and Ava to play with - the ailment collection! ***

You know if this is Second Runner Up, the rest are going to be BAD. Props to Yoga Cassie, because she shared one about her own offspring. That's why I gave her so many "sickness" dolls. They're like extra rewards.

If the next two stories ARE about their kids, they were too ashamed to admit it. I do not blame them.

First Runner Up:

sheena said...
"I really didn't want to tell this story....but now you're forcing me to. Luckily, it was not my son....I would've ran away. Or died.

My sis's friends 4yr old went in to the (public) bathroom stall by himself and came out with a tampon aplicator.....IN HIS MOUTH.

I'm sorry."

So am I Sheena. That's why I am giving you these:

a stuffed Hepatitus C *** (spread through body fluids you know)

and

The MRSA staph infection doll. Complete with cute vampire like cape.***

GRAND FIRST PRIZE WINNER:

I'm not going to lie, it was reeeeal tough choosing between Christy and Sheena, but this one got lots of votes, and she shared this story without even being asked. I hope you have a puke bowl handy.

christy said...
"Just so you won't feel so bad about the bird:

My friend Tami was with her son at the park when she noticed that he had something "stringy-ish" hanging out of his mouth. Upon further inspection, it was . . .

A DEAD MOUSE!

Yep, you read that right. That 'something "stringy-ish"' was of course the mouse's tail, which means the entire rotting corpse was in the toddler's mouth. Gotta love the age of putting things in your mouth.So the bird could have been worse! :o)"

Christy, I don't feel bad about the bird anymore. Not even a little. I also did not even bat an eyelash when Max ate a goldfish cracker off the floor at the Wilkinson center - BYU. 

You Win!!!!!!!!

The "menageries" set; namely Rabies, Mange and Heartworm ***

And the oh so coveted

EBOLA VIRUS***

Thus concluding the GERM series.

I promise.

Thank you.

***all prized were won and given in the virtual sense. no actual, physical  microbe dolls will be sent to winners. if you must have these babies for yourself, they are available at  www.giantmicrobes.com***

disgusting-er

{my nephew Cody. he's a gross one too.}

Well, my spirits are lifted. I thought my kid was gross until I read all the sick things all my friends children did. I feel much better about both my child's potential to make it to his second year and myself as a mother. I love all of you who stepped up to share your sickening stories with me. I loved it!  Thanks guys for all the support during this trying and emotional time. I am taking  time to heal and regroup. Max somehow seems utterly unaffected by it all. 

The funniest thing is that my germ post received more comments (27) than any other post ever! haha! I had to share some of the sickest ones for your reading pleasure. 

kristin bishop said...
oh-another quick one. SORRY! at christmas....we were all snackin on choc. covered raisins...my favorite. Jarom changed jaxsons diaper...announced that his poop were little pebbles and we may need to give him juice. Hours later...while we are playing cards and my dad is laying on teh family room floor stretched out in front of the fire...her finds a "CHOC. covered raisin" and raises it to his lips...when he stops and realized this is in fact...a piece of jaxson's POOP. can you believe it????

see your not alone!

hahahahaha


cassie said...
oh don't you worry. Asher picked up a bird last fall at a park, with his bare hands. i FREAKED.

he's never touched poo though... that's just sick... i can't even imagine. i would have died!


anonymous (my Aunt Laura) said...
jess, just imagine annika and her cute thumb sucking habit, and all the disgusting stuff she sucks off. eewww.. but - when bj and becca were little, playing at the mcdonalds playland, I pulled becca out to see if she needed to go potty... noticed really squishy legs on her pants. (no diaper because she was trained, right?). Yep - that foamy kind of diahrea ALL over the inside of playland's slides. There was nothing I could do. She'd been in the ball pit, scooted down each and every knook and cranny of the play toy. And there were no paper towels in the bathroom!! (only airjet dryer for your convenience. hellooo!) There was no where I could hide. I rinsed her off in the sink in the bathroom, jet dryed her hiney and asked for the janitor to go check out the toy. We slinked off to our car and sped away. I feel so dirty just thinking about it. I vowed to never show our faces there as long as we lived.

Oh yeah, and once our cat caught and rat, bit it's head off, drug it in to lay it at our feet just as I was laying the baby down on the floor next to it. The world couldn't have invented enough lysol that day to appease my dry heaves and contant shivers of revoltion. SICK!

Aunt Laura's sage advice and wisdom - never visit McDonald's playland no matter how tempting the airconditioned toys beckon you. NEVER!!!


sarah said...
The life of a mother, isn't it horrible at times. I think dog poo is worse that kid poo. (Ashley, of course) Those stories made me laugh. Kids always find stuff to gross you out. Ashley came inside from playing outside chewing on something- a snail!! I was so grossed out.

THIS ONE'S THE KICKER

christy said...
Just so you won't feel so bad about the bird:

My friend Tami was with her son at the park when she noticed that he had something "stringy-ish" hanging out of his mouth. Upon further inspection, it was . . .





A DEAD MOUSE!

Yep, you read that right. That 'something "stringy-ish"' was of course the mouse's tail, which means the entire rotting corpse was in the toddler's mouth. Gotta love the age of putting things in your mouth.So the bird could have been worse! :o)

And I can totally feel for you on the nursery and toilet stuff. YUCK!

If any of you would like to contribute to this list, or possibly try to BEAT one of these submissions, you win. WHat? I don't know. I will surely thing of something. Have at it people!

p.s. honorable mention to Chelsea, who suggested I leave Max in a warm bath for a week (better make it hot, warm just makes all the bacteria multiply), Lindsey, who says this is why she no longer has children (although she never had children??), and Sabrina, who vomited in her mouth (that was the whole idea, so you're welcome). Love you.